


This Is Fractured (But This is Ours)

by ThatOneMawile



Series: TIF (BTIO) Oneshots and Continuations [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Aka the angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dishonored!AU, Episode AU: 1x01 Pilot, Episode AU: 3x09 Present, Everyone in the tags are alive, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I'm aro so this won't get smutty, Light Angst, M/M, Pilot!AU, SO, Unless it's barry becuase i keep killing him off to progress the plot, but i love angst, i am now allenbert trash, i think, sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:30:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8809678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneMawile/pseuds/ThatOneMawile
Summary: A collection of Allenbert shorts loosely based around angst and whatever else my brain decided to write.
 
 
  Oneshot 10:  Allenbert Week Day 1: Pre-Flashpoint Relationship
 
 
  Continuation of my Pilot!AU - After the accelerator explosion Central City is left to pick up the pieces, minus some of their loved ones.





	1. Fractures

**Author's Note:**

> So I feel straight into the Allenbert hole and I can't get out so here I am. This is just going to be my collection of Allenbert shorts that I have written, so enjoy! If you guys have any prompts or ideas for fics you can submit them at my tumblr [here](https://that-one-mawile.tumblr.com/ask) or just comment them!
> 
> Update: I'll be updating every Wednesday (In NZ) at least - Maybe even more if I can.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling for a Speedster doesn't even top Julian's 'Top 15 Worst Decisions Ever' List.

Knowing his colleague was the Flash wasn’t as much of a big deal as Julian thought it would be. Barry was still perpetually late, still disappeared at random times and still bugged him at every living moment. Which all-in-all was driving Julian  _ insane _ . Honestly if it took Savitar using him as him mediator again to get Barry to shut up he would do it. Couldn’t Allen see what he was doing? At least it gave Julian the answers to all his questions. 

 

Barry had always been an enigma, a bundle of happiness and light hiding a secret (Julian had humored the idea of his colleague being a Meta - But had shot the idea down since really the man was so… normal that there was no way he could be one  _ Oh how wrong could he of been _ ) and watching him casually wait for his tests to be completed (Somethings couldn’t be sped up - He wondered how the speedster perceived it). Part of the reason he had distrusted Barry from day one was how he held himself - So nervous, a bundle of frayed nerves and awkwardness but somehow he reminded Julian of a war veteran, a soldier who knew what he was capable on and just daring someone to challenge them. How was it possible for a person to give  _ so many _ mixed signals?

 

Meanwhile the object of his attention was dangling his long legs off his desk, strong muscles flexing against the hard grain of the desk he was perched on and-  _ Oh Bollocks. He was not falling for Allen. No way.  _ Face threatening to turn the same colour as Barry’s suit, Julian turned away so the speedster didn’t notice - And anyway, didn’t Barry have the world’s biggest crush on West’s daughter? Yeah she may of been engaged Thawne at the moment (And apparently he had died in the Singularity before Julian had got to America? His life was so weird) but Allen still gave her his best impression of a puppy when he saw her.

 

There was one good thing about know who Barry really was - The Flash wasn’t exactly the most low profile vigilante around (Reports claim that The Arrow and Flash have worked together before - Does Allen know the Arrow’s true identity? Alas, Questions for another day). Allen had been busy in the last few years, between supervillains with guns (And puns) to rival speedsters Julian was more shocked that Allen even found time to do his day job - Being late looked like the least worse thing he could of done. It also raised the very good question of why - every single other meta Julian had come across had turned to the life of crime or at very least hurt someone but Allen didn’t. Julian knows that meta’s are frowned upon, power driving them crazy and/or evil which is why Julian is guessing the speedster isn’t open about being a Meta - Especially such a powerful one who always seems to beat his opponent in the end. 

 

Every article is the same - Slimy comments about the villains and praise to the Flash. At least Miss West’s articles don’t bite around the bush, pages overflowing with detail that there should be no way she should ever have gotten access to unless she has an inside contact in the team (Or a list of them - Her father, brother, foster brother/best friend, other best friend, fiance… Miss West is a very lucky reporter.) and Julian is just fascinated with her tales. They all end the same - the Flash saves the day.  _ Except for one. _

 

Julian’s hands shake as he scrolls down, words jumping out at him describing the downfall of Central City’s favorite speedster. He’s sick as the gruesome details continue, eyes glancing every few seconds to make sure Barry is still there and alive, not in the clutches of that monster. He is almost too afraid to watch the footage - But he didn't become such a good CSI by ignoring key evidence - so he hesitantly lets the footage roll. 

 

The monster ( _ Zoom _ .  _ But it’s soon to be Savitar _ ) is parading the mangled body that used to be the Flash around the city, stopping in the CCPD headquarters to… Julian has to stop right there. He knows what happens, he knows the chances of survival are so low and he knows that no one could ever walk again after having their back broken like that, vertebrae snapping and breaking the spinal cord. (Nerves don’t heal - It’s written in the laws of humanity’s curse) but somehow Barry is _ fine _ . His cellular regeneration is more impressive than Julian once thought apparently (Another fact to add to his mental file on the enigma that is Barry Allen, alongside his really first name - Which Julian totally doesn’t blame Barry for using a nickname, a name like that needs one). 

 

Before Julian can speak to Barry, there phones go off in perfect sync - STAR Labs emergency alerts. Sadly, once everyone found out he way Alchemy Barry had turned his full puppy dog eyes strength to him to get him to join the team - And Julian was so far gone with this stupid crush that he couldn’t deny the speedster anything. So now whenever the Flash, Kid Flash or Vibe was called out Julian and Caitlin were on standby at the Labs, praying to god they were not called in to the field but willing to do so anyway to save their teammates. 

 

Yellow eyes meet his and Julian is lost for words in the face of such power - sometimes he forgets how dangerous being around a speedster can be. Savitar has the body to match his power, appearances to be feared and Zoom was a monster in sheep's clothing, black inky eyes and rough bloodied hands snapping the backs of anyone who stood in his way. The Kid Flash was too young and cocky, barely a newborn in his power, a tiny flicker of lightning compared to the large destructive nature of the older speedsters. But the Flash has to be the scariest of them all, godly power hidden behind a facade of innocence and weakness. Julian knows not to tempt a speedster in their territory - you don’t survive if you enter and attempt to restrain a speedster on their turf and this lab has been the Flash’s for longer than it’s been Julian’s. The safest thing to do is just nod and hope he doesn't get electrocuted on Allen’s way out - so he does just that. 

 

He didn’t expect his stomach to drop and to be picked up bridal style - Which by the way when was Barry strong enough to do that? In a burst of lightning that had his inner Alchemy screaming STAR Labs fills his vision and Julian is left protesting as another wave of nausea hits him.

  
_ I always seem to be waiting for him - Never knowing if he will be coming back. _


	2. Scars Echo Fractures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was unlike anything he had ever seen, the damaged skin trailed down Allen’s spine, while crackling, raised scars that crackled and traveled down his back where they disappeared below the over-sized nerdy maroon sweater Allen had pulled up high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this would be done tomorrow but I had time to kill and my writers block finally disappeared. This chapter will be posted in two parts, the second part _Fractured Finale_ will be out within a week or so. Enjoy!
> 
> **Edit: This chapter is part of the 3 part series Fractured Scars**

Barry Allen wasn’t subtle in any term of the word. Heart on his sleeve, exposed to a world that didn't care about how delicate it was, beating and destroying it. But Julian had always noticed something was… Off. It was the way he shrugged down his plush, long-sleeved jumpers in the middle of summer when no sane person would do so. It was the way he wore long sleeve undershirts that barely hid the stringy muscles while exercising, lean and stalky compared to the buff officers. The way he avoided having people directly behind him, sticking to the shadows. Inside their lab he seemed to lighten up, only stiffening when passing by Julian or the skylight. 

 

It was why Julian questioned his motives - Why would a simple CSI be so nervous  around cops? Didn't help that Allen disappeared at all hours of the day. It wasn’t until Julian happened to manage to sneak behind Allen one day that the enigma expanded. Sharp, neat hairline, probably freshly cut that morning if Julian was right (He knew his hairstyles - Daniel had always forced him to cut his hair. Little brothers were a  _ pain _ ) but what really caught his eye was the bright red starburst at the nape of Allen’s neck. It was unlike anything he had ever seen, the damaged skin trailed down Allen’s spine, while crackling, raised scars that crackled and traveled down his back where they disappeared below the over-sized nerdy maroon sweater Allen had pulled up high. 

 

It was frankly beautiful in the way explosions are, destructive and dangerous but fractures that could of been holes into another universe (Even as Alchemy he didn't have that ability - It was so long since he'd seen someone with a scar that unique which raised the question of how exactly he had got it - Definitely not in a normal and painless way) and something inside Julian snapped. He wanted to see _more._ His mind was overflowing, questions spilling out faster than Central’s protector. _Did it travel all the way down? How did he get it?_ _Would he let me get a closer look at it? Ever?_

 

“Julian?” Allen’s now facing him, hazel eyes (No… Are they… Gold?) clouded by confusion. He doesn’t miss however how Allen’s stance changes from the casual clumsy  weak stance to a stiff, defensive one. Hand loosely at his sides Julian takes a deep breath before answering (He didn’t want Allen to attack him - Wait when did he become worried that Allen would hurt him? Something stirred in his gut and spikes of fear raced up his spine -  _ Worry about this first Julian _ ) 

 

“Is there something I can help you with Allen? Or are going to continue staring at me all day?”

 

A flash of -  _ something  _ (He’s going insane -  _ Humans  _ definitely couldn’t change their eye colors as quickly as Allen - Again, he’s paranoid) passes over Allen’s eyes and his face morphs into his neutral expression while around Julian Albert - a scowl. Feet shuffling his head bobs and Julian just  _ knows  _ he’s about to make a sarcastic comment. “ _ I _ was staring? What were you doing back there then?” (Allen is way too uptight about this - He shouldn’t be that annoyed that someone was staring at his -  _ Oh. _ ) 

 

Suddenly something inside Allen snaps and his shoulders slump over in defeat. “You saw that huh?” His laugh is bitter and an acidic taste fills Julian's mouth. The air smells like ozone as Allen collapses in his chair and large green eyes blink up at him sadly. “They’re hideous... I don’t like people seeing them.” Julian feels like he is burning under Allen’s gaze and Alchemy squirms unnecessarily in his mind (He wonders if he shows his other side to Allen what he would do - Show him something truly hideous. Alas, he would have to kill him if he did so - Maybe Savitar wants to create another minion? He’ll just be as truthful as he can be) 

 

“Hideous? Allen I think it’s beautiful. Such unique scarring... “ Allen’s scoffing interrupts him. (Scoffing. He had the decency to scoff at him. Honestly when Savitar moves into his final plan if he would allow Alchemy to keep a human pet… ( _ He didn’t however realize that Savitar couldn’t save the one human Alchemy wanted to keep around if he was going to continue his plans - Then again you can’t call him ‘Human’ in any stretch of the word. Alchemy is just going to have to suck it up and deal with losing Allen. Again.) _ )

 

“Sure Julian. I’m sure you don’t have to deal with scar that cover your whole body. Fun fact - It isn’t fun” As sharp as Allen’s tongue was Julian could see the man was in his own personal hell. The childish good looks were darkened by insomnia and -  _ was that blood on his collar? _ Taking a good look at Allen was shocking - Nothing added up. The scar was just a physical reminder of how the man was such an enigma. 

 

Carefully broaching the subject, Julian let his voice drop into something that could be considered ‘Sincere’ “ _ Barry _ … How did you get your scars? I… They weren’t made to look that way were they?’ (Scars like that… he could only see them as knife wounds. But who would carve up a simple CSI? Unless it wasn’t carved…) Allen is staring at him intently now, and Julian was getting hot under his gaze. Had he said something wrong?

 

“You know nothing about what happened here 2 years ago?” (2 years ago? He was hunting the stone while the particle accelerator happened - Round 1 of the Metas.) 

 

“The Particle Accelerator explosion right? What’s your point?” (Is he a Meta? Impossible…)

 

“I was struck by lightning in this lab. That’s how I got this Lichtenberg Figure. It… It covers my torso and limbs, a permanent reminder. Nothing good came out of that night”

 

He did not expect that - But at least one part of the enigma has been uncovered. But Julian knew the chances of surviving a lightning strike were slim... ( _ Wasn’t that how Savitar got his speed? _ He buried that little fact deeper into his mind to escape it again)  _ Especially _ one that coincides with a particle explosion. He should really bite the bullet… Not like he has a friendship to lose right?

 

“Hey Allen”

 

“Yeah Julian?”

 

“You aren’t… you aren’t a Meta right? I mean the whole lightning strike and the particle accelerator explosion? It all sounds like the perfect mix for a Speedster”

 

Allen’s mouth crunches into a frown and he lets out a breath Julian didn’t know he was holding. He was still too tense for Julian’s liking but that could be down to the fact Julian had seen his scars when Allen was obviously concerned and private about them. Rising to his feet, Allen looks small - He barely looks capable of hurting a fly with his giant gangly limbs and clumsy feet. 

 

“I wish Julian… maybe if I was a speedster… ” His mouth turns in a scowl and his glare sharpens (Apparently Allen is very bitter about this subject - fancy that.) “... I wouldn’t have these scars. Or maybe my dad would still be alive. Goodnight Julian” Spinning on one heel, sneakers squeaking Julian is left flabbergasted while watching Allen’s retreating form. (Did Allen realize the gems he had just left in Julian’s hands? Apparently not)

 

It had however left Julian with a few more pieces of information to research - One, His father was dead? And two, Julian didn’t quite… believe him. Something was up with Allen and he was going to find out, no matter if it was the death of him. The second one was easy - DNA tests would show if Allen had an active Meta gene (They might even give him a clue to what type of Meta Allen was - Many Metahumans DNA was very obviously altered, a blinking red flag to someone who knew what they were looking for. Of course getting a sample would usually be harder… but Julian shares a lab. It’s all too easy to grab a strand of hair off Allen’s chair, all too easy to grab a saliva sample off his mug and all too easy to subtly test it off on the side. 

 

But of course everything takes time and a Metahuman test was no different so it left Julian plenty of time to research Henry Allen. What Julian found was simply  _ fascinating.  _ Henry Allen was accused of killing his wife, Nora and was sent to jail for 15 years (Interesting. Their son, one Bartholomew Allen was then fostered by one Joseph West… So Detective West was Allen’s foster father…) before Harrison Wells confessed to the murders in video footage left to Allen after the Singularity… Doc Allen was freed and disappeared off the grid before he was killed by -  _ Wait one second - He was killed by Zoom?!?!  _ (Why would Zoom go after Doc Allen? Apparently according to the coroner's report Allen watched Zoom kill his father by shredding his chest and heart with a vibrating arm. The Flash and Savitar just got  _ so  _ much scarier. Julian would like to keep his chest intact thank you very much)

 

Julian’s eyes were just flicking over the file one more time - Some of the details were…  upsetting to say the least (Did Allen have to give a report of what he saw? That’s harsh - Even Alchemy hisses in agreement with that one) but Julian’s eyes were glued to the side note in the file. Apparently Allen’s metal state was unstable on the best of days - Suicidal on the worse. He had a feeling today was defiantly on the serious end of that scale, not that Julian could blame him. 

 

“Albert! Scene down on 7th!” 

 

Rushing to grab his equipment Julian didn’t notice his test was complete. The small LED screen blinked unsettling in the empty room, a haunting presence that exposed the fractures of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So be on the look out for the second part of our story where the two find out eachothers secrets in a an angst filled mess!


	3. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian is left to ponder his fate... Too bad he doesn't have all the details... except for the little detail that he is Alchemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry somehow i'm really busy at the moment... I did manage to get out this out but it's not my best work.

The cell is stifling - he feels so weak, so powerless within the sapphire shelled walls just waiting to be let out. There is nothing else in the cell apart from Julian himself, leaving him two options. Stand and wreak his knees or sit on the cold, concrete floor and wait for someone to turn up. Maybe they will send Frost down - The Flash seems to think he’s Alchemy, but coming from a Meta working with  _ her  _ anything they say has to be taken with a grain of salt. 

 

They’re confused - Maybe Frost has finally got to the Flash and whoever else is working here - She definitely got to Allen. He’s not Alchemy, no matter what the  _ think  _ they know. He’d know if he was Alchemy… right? Frankie Kane didn’t know she was…  _ No.  _ It couldn’t be… could it? He had been losing time ever since India, the clussterfuck it was, and he hadn’t seen his sister since. But Alchemy was a villain, he worked with Savitar (He should of known as soon as he recognized Savitar’s name - not just from mythology. He should of  _ known. _ )

 

But it raises the question of where Central’s favorite Speedster is and why he isn’t ranting in Julian’s ear again. He seemed to be familiar with Julian as well - Which was weird. First he had been at the police station when he was almost crushed then again stopped him from killing the kid… always in the right place at the right time. Everyone knew the Flash was fast but  _ that  _ fast? No. Not unless he was in the area… 

 

The was only one conclusion.

 

The Flash was a cop - or at very least worked at the precinct. One of his colleagues knew he was  _ Alchemy _ . He was so screwed - what if the reason they weren’t here was because they were heading to the station to dob him in? He really shouldn't of listened to Allen - If he hadn’t promised to keep his mouth shut about Frost as long as Allen quit he would have some blackmail material left. He had no time for maybes now - The longer his captors were gone the more likely it was that he would be spending his next night in Iron Heights or in police custody. 

 

The smooth sliding of metal and hiss from the escaping air is all the warning Julian gets before the metal panels are lifted and all that's blocking his escape is the bullet (Meta) proof glass - Which Julian is all too thankful for. A quick scan of the room informs him that only The Flash is back and the lights are out so there is no way Julian can even guess who The Flash is ( _ He’s definitely positioned himself on purpose - The shadows hide any and all fine details but still expose enough of the scarlet suit to show Julian who he is facing is The Flash)  _ Julian can’t help but notice the tightness in his shoulders, the muscles just erning to run (Does The Flash have to run? Does he have to burn off energy so he doesn’t expose himself?) 

 

Somehow Julian gets the impression The Flash isn’t going to bite the bullet and speak first, even without being able to see much the disappointment and sadness is just oozing off him (Why? Why is he so disappointed? It’s not his fault and if they are colleagues Julian doesn’t really talk to anyone so they can’t be friends - Unless that’s not why? For some reason it's all too familiar and  _ god _ he acts like Savitar when he’s emotional. Savitar always disappeared when he was pissed. _ That’s _ why the Flash is geared up to run… and how does Julian know this? He’s surprised he didn’t put two and two together earlier with all the memories and all) 

 

Speedsters are weird. Both Julian and Alchemy can agree on that. Alchemy though seems much, much more scared of the Speedster he deals with daily than the one currently holding them captive. Julian would agree if he hadn’t seen The Flash in those moments he was about to kill the kid - He knew Savitar was a god and all but  _ nothing  _ compared to power he had felt. He would've died if The Flash had not been so compassionate - hell the kid could of died too. If Savitar had that kind of power (And a physical form) he would be unstoppable… Alchemy was just looking at everything at surface level (And wasn’t it weird he was splitting himself and Alchemy up in his mind - They were separate people god damn it!) 

 

“I - I’m not Alchemy. I’m not  _ evil _ .” He’ll test the waters a bit - maybe The Flash will expose something he doesn’t want exposed. 

 

“Julian I’m trying to help you.”  _ Stop. Please. Don’t move. You’re too powerful. Get away. _

 

“But you need to trust me”  _ I can’t trust you - you work with Frost. I don’t know you. You are the enemy. You want to kill me. You have to stop me. _

 

“Says the man in the mask”  _ Good, Keep the snark up. Please, don’t call my bluff. Don’t hurt me. Keep everything in check. I can get through this.  _

 

“Alright”  _ You wouldn’t. I could hurt you. You could hurt me. But I’ll be fine. This will be over soon. I can survive anything you throw at me. Anything Flash. Anything…  _

 

_ … Except that. _

 


	4. Fractured Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian thinks he knows all Barry's secrets - Oh how uninformed is he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so late - I'm really busy at the moment and I will be going on holiday tomorrow so I won't have internet until the 14th :/ I'll hopefully update before then but I was trying to get this chapter out today and I did, that's all I can do. It isn't my best (I really dislike it) but you guys might enjoy it!
> 
>  
> 
> **Edit: This chapter is part of the 3 part series Fractured Scars**

“I trusted you!”  _ Your mistake. You shouldn't of trusted me. I’m a monster. I’m trying to help. But I wasn’t the only one who lied. You did too. You’re a meta.  _

 

“You’re evil Julian, I can’t believe it.”  _ You should. You trust too easily. You trust Frost. Where is she anyway Allen? I bet she wants to finish the job. Does she know that you are a Meta? She has too. _

 

“I should hand you in right now…”  _ Oh Allen, Beautifully playing your bluff. So innocent. I wonder if Savitar would let me keep you. He better. _

 

“You won’t.”  _ Deny me this Allen. You aren’t strong enough. Bite back. Make your father proud. Fight me. Show me your power. _

 

Allen has the decency to laugh - But it’s not a true laugh. It’s bitter and harsh and  _ god  _ it hurts.  _ I hate you. Why do you still care? You can’t help me Allen, no one can. _

 

“You know what the worst part is? I still want to help. I can’t do that if I dob you in…”  _ What? How can you help me. Nothing you can do could ever help. Don’t try Allen, it’ll just end in pain. Unless you want to show me what you can do? Are you brave enough Allen? _

 

“Savitar only cares from the strong Allen.”  _ Does he care about you? Please tell me he does. Please tell me I can keep you.  _

 

Hazel eyes meet his and Allen’s eyebrow raises “You don’t know why he is here do you? Of course you don’t - He doesn’t care Julian”  _ How would you know? You don’t work for Savitar. You aren’t his second in command. Jealous much? You spend all your time around Metas… are you going to confirm it?  _

 

“Don’t tell me you side with the humans Allen. What have they ever done for you? Miss Snow’s a Meta, I’m guessing Ramon is and didn’t West’s other son become a speedster? Seems like you prefer the company of Metas.”  _ What’s your long game Allen? Are you even playing the long game? Or are just winging it, like an idiot. No one can survive against Savitar, you know this. _

 

“So what if I do? We all were born human after all and we… we spent most of our lives as humans. We aren’t gods Julian”  _ But Savitar is. And he seems scared of The Flash. That’s two. Who says there can’t be more? _

 

“You know that isn’t true.”  _ I serve a god. I have no choice. _

 

“You think… You think Savitar is a god? I should've known - You haven't even seen him and you still worship him.”  _ No one can see him - he only shows himself to the worthy. He’s too powerful Allen, he’ll destroy you if he knew you felt like this.  _

 

“No one has seen him - “

 

“I  _ have! _ ”

 

_ What? Impossible. You lie Allen. He wouldn’t show his true form to a non-believer. He’s too smart for that. Unless… No. _

 

“Impossible”

 

“We are the impossible Julian”  _ So you say. _

 

“Haven’t seen you do many impossible things Allen apart from being perpetually late”  _ And survive a lightning blast. And change your eye colour. And get out of trouble 24/7. _

 

“Julian… Julian I can’t…”  _ Scared? Worried? Why? Do you think Savitar will punish you? Do you not want him to know? _ __  
  


“Why not? Would you kindly treat me to a small performance Allen.” Julian gestured to the floor, annoyance growing as Allen seemed to back off.  _ You can't be scared of showing me your powers… unless they are a dead give away? _

 

At first small sparks fly up Allen’s arm but they gradually condense into fully fledged lightning zapping around him, yellow halo of  _ power _ surrounding him and finally Julian gets to see the whole picture, golden eyes and all.  _ Marvelous, Powerful, Beautiful, Intoxicating.  _

 

Julian has never encountered such power before in such a weak body - Allen couldn’t harm a fly if he tried. He would be a brilliant addition to the team… if he was inclined to do so. Julian could only watch in wonder as the light show stopped and Allen slumped over in his seat, not with exhaustion though… Maybe he is out of fuel? Would a meta like him require a special fuel? His musing are interrupted as the smooth chimes ring out and Allen practically sprints out the door.

_ What the hell? _

 

* * *

 

A couple of hours later Julian feels Savitar probe their connection, it’s as strong as always and un-ignorable (As much of a pain that is) 

 

_ I am done on this earth Julian. He is dead. _

 

_ Do I need to clean up? _

 

_ No… Let the body be found by his team. It has been good working with you Alchemy. _

 

_ Savitar - You are leaving so soon? _

 

_ No need to stay when he is gone. The Speedsters of this world were too reliant on his speed - kill him and the rest will follow with time. Goodbye Julian Albert. _

 

* * *

 

 

As Julian walked into the lab the next morning Detective West was slumped over Allen’s desk, a box discarded besides him. He looked… broken, as if someone had died.  _ Did West know The Flash? Did he care for him? Where is Allen? Why isn’t he… _

 

_ No.  _


	5. Christmas Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Present AU: Eddie and Iris hatch a plan to make sure everyone is enjoying Christmas... Including Barry and Julian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be really fluffy for Christmas but somehow I managed to make it really angsty again... Sorry guys!
> 
> For the sake of this chapter it's a Present AU that included Eddie because who else would notice how downright depressed Barry was if he was not with Iris let's be real... Also lots of implied author dislike for Caitlin and Cisco, it's just fits with the chapter. The also can be read as a couple - or you could read them as friends and nothing else.
> 
> Un-edited and written on an iPad like all chapters will be for a few weeks since I'm on holiday, sorry everyone!

If everyone was surprised that Julian turned up to the West family Christmas Dinner no one showed it. Cisco and Caitlin had been drifting between Iris and himself all evening, getting suitably drunk on the eggnog while Joe and Cecile did… something under the mistletoe in the hall. Wally had disappeared for a run and Christmas visit to his girlfriend (Inter-dimensional relationships were weird - but then at this point nothing could faze Eddie after a _telepathic gorilla._ )

  
He had been making polite conversation with Cisco and Caitlin all evening, still a little bitter over how they treated Barry the last few weeks. Couldn't they see how he was killing himself over it? He knew Barry blamed himself for Alchemy and Savitar (And the Dominators coming back to earth certainly didn't help his self-blame either). The Meta had cheered up slightly when Albert had turned up, mask slipping and the first real smile Eddie had seen in his face in months appeared until Caitlin walked over, coldly sliding between the two and stealing Julian away. Eyes literally ablaze (Someone had to warn the speedster when he got emotional - the lightning was a dead give away) Eddie watched as Barry seemed to melt into his surroundings, trying to avoid everyone. Beer in hand, Eddie politely excused himself from the conversation with Cecile and Joe and a fleeting smile to his wife later he followed the Speedster to the darkened corner of the cozy room.

  
“Something wrong Barry?” _Duh. He wouldn't be doing his best disappearing act if there wasn’t._

  
“Eddie! Um - Um yeah there is nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all.” Hand shifting to its tell-tale spot on his neck, Barry’s sad eyes drift to the floor and his shoulders stiffen. Eddie’s heart breaks as he watches his friend (They got over the Iris deal months ago - Barry’s short but serious stint with Patty had left him heartbroken _again_ and Eddie had helped him pick up the pieces - No one else was around to do so) purposely exclude himself from everyone when he needed them most.

  
“Bear…” Barry sighs and drowns the rest of his drink that Eddie can tell from here (the smell is very distinct - he can't even smell any alcohol at all) doesn't include any of Caitlin’s speedster-proof alcohol (None of Barry’s drinks have since everyone found out about Flashpoint - Caitlin wouldn't be refraining from giving it to him right? It's just a coincidence…)

  
“I don't… I don’t want to ruin everyone’s Christmas. Everyone is having such a good time and I…”

  
“It's your first Christmas after your dad died Barry, everyone doesn't expect you to be 100% ok.”

  
“Eddie… You know they do. Caitlin and Cisco hate me, Joe’s too busy with Cecile and Wally still isn't talking to me because we don't want him to get himself killed. I've got to… I've got to go. Sorry Ed” Barry pulls away sharply, slipping a hint of speed into his movements (Not enough that Cecile would notice however - Joe’s word were final. She doesn't find out until Joe wants her to.)

  
Eddie sighs as the speedster disappears, slipping out to some god forsaken private location that no one would ever find. _Someone has too… Maybe… Iris? No. Julian._ Carefully interrupting Caitlin and Julian’s conversation with a cold shoulder that would make Caitlin herself proud he directs Julian towards the kitchen, soft smells of nutmeg and turkey to good to miss. An acidic taste rolls down his throat as Caitlin gives him her best death glare - it would of been more effective if Eddie wasn't married to Iris (The reigning death glare champion of the world) Julian’s eyebrows are pinched in the perfect British way he does, with so much grace that Eddie thinks the man must of trained himself to do so.

  
Pulling the man away from the dark glares of their present company, Eddie quickly scans the room making sure it's empty. When he’s happy enough with it he turns towards his colleague and stares at the ground.

  
“Thawne… Is Allen ok? I haven't seen him after Miss Snow took up conversation with me?”

  
“That's what I was going to ask you… Can you go check on him? I know it's weird but the only pure real smile I've seen from Barry in months was around you so maybe you could cheer him up?”

  
“Why would he… Is something going on between Ramon, Snow and him? They are all… Cold around each other. Is this why you want me to go?”

  
“Yeah… Barry can probably explain better than I could but Cisco blames Barry for his brother's death and Caitlin blames him for her powers. Neither seems to care than Bear is really not in a good place right now…”

  
“Do you have any idea where he would be?”

  
“S.T.A.R labs. That's where he goes when he needs privacy. Just… Please don't tell Cisco and Caitlin ok? I don't know what Barry would do if they found out.”

  
Julian smiles reassuringly at Eddie and confirms Eddie’s suspicions that yes asking Julian was the right idea. Iris smiles at them both, having caught on what Eddie was planning and directs everyone's attention away from Julian quietly slipping out.

 

* * *

 

The labs are cold and silent when Julian arrives, lights low and all heating off. He slips down to the Cortex through the winding paths, all too aware of how looming everything is. The rooms are too much like a sci-fi space station for Julian’s liking, and he wonders who in their right mind would hang out here. The Cortex is noticeably empty and the same can be said for all the other main rooms Julian knows of. Thawne did say Barry was down here somewhere in the dark and definitely not in the right mindset to be alone on Christmas. He searches for another 10 minutes before he finally finds him curled up, legs and arms crossed with his head bowed in the corner of one of the hundreds of abandoned rooms in the lab.

  
“Julian?” Golden eyes blink up at him, confused and alone that just makes Julian want to go hurt the others even more.

  
“Who else would it be Allen? You shouldn't be down here alone.” He carefully lowers himself so he's right next to but not touch Barry, freezing walls and floor biting into him. Barry tenses at his presence before dropping his head to Julian’s shoulder and Julian isn't even bothered. He's know for a long time he had a weakness for the Speedster, trying to avoid confronting it for as long as possible.

  
“...thank you.” Voice barely a mutter but still making Julian’s heart break, Barry tucks in tighter, almost vibrating with shivers but neither can care as it's too comfy, the two tucked into each other in the dark room.

  
If anyone notices the two are missing for the whole evening, they don't show it but somehow a bottle of wine slips onto Julian's desk the next day, simple adorned with “Thank You - Iris and Eddie”

  
Seems like it really is a Christmas Miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time will be a continuation of 'Fractured Relationships'... 'Fractured Regret' because Extravaganza requested it and apparently you guys liked it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Good to know someone did because I didn't.


	6. Fractured Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Fractured Relationships - The aftermath of the Flash's death from Julian's point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annndddd here we are again. I wasn't planing on writing this but you guys wanted it so here we go...
> 
> Things get dark and there are mentioned to major character deaths all over the place so for that I'm going to give you a warning. **Major Character Death!** I usually hate killing off characters unless it's Barry or Nate but I just had to here.
> 
> The dark theme is very influenced from the fact I wrote this after playing 4 hours of Dishonored 2 with no breaks and that game is dead set on killing my heart and soul into a thousand pieces so I did so with my other fandoms as well! 
> 
> And as the case for the next few chapters non-edited as I'm writing on my phone and have no internet!
> 
>  
> 
> **Edit: This chapter is part of the 3 part series Fractured Scars**

It didn't feel like Christmas - all the colours were faded, jagged edges and soft alluring tones making Julian's heart break again. Savitar was gone, off to conquer the next universe in the infinite multiverse and Julian was left with nothing but regret. The lab was cold all the time because _Barry had always turned on the heater._ Chemicals were disorganised and Julian couldn't care because it just reminded him of how Barry was so OCD about them, spend hours fussing and organising them so they were just right and ignoring Julian as he hummed soothing tunes. Not that Julian cares for music anymore - it just reminds him of Barry.

  
The official story going around the station that it was a rouge Meta with a grudge against the CSI - his body had been found mangled and abandoned in an alley across from the Police Station. Singh had taken one look at Julian and forbid him from working on the case - apparently he was too close to Barry. Everyone knew Julian felt guilty about _something_ \- they all presumed it was the fact that he couldn't help his fellow CSI (It didn't help that Detective West had suddenly asked for a transfer - Central City reminded him too much of his foster son so the station found themselves suddenly down a detective and CSI.)

  
Crime skyrocketed before anyone noticed and Julian was too busy to grieve properly. Every case of a rogue metahuman testing their powers and killing someone haunted him _because it was on his conscience._ If he had hadn't helped Savitar, haven't succumbed to the power of Alchemy the Flash and Barry Allen would be running around cleaning up the city and keeping it safe. Every time Julian walked into the lab he waited for the sarcastic comment about his expression or how he looked like death but every time he was greeted by _silence_. The lab was cold and empty and there was only one person to blame for that.

  
-

  
Slowly crime dropped again when two new heroes emerged to protect it, much to Julian’s dismay Vibe and Frost (The Frost he knew had a ‘Killer’ tacked in front of it - but thinking about her, her kidnapping, Savitar, all of it just led his mind towards Barry and how he begged Julian not to turn Frost in, to give her a second chance. _“She's not… Caitlin when she's using her powers. They do something to her - twist her morals and ideals.” And I hated her, hated you, hated him when I was the monster, taking out my weakness and pain on a meta with no chance who just wanted help. I killed you, the purest person I know knew because you were good, doing your best. Because you were right_.)

  
Cities mourn in there own ways - in Gotham you can see it, the dirt, grime, _criminals_ in the street as the city tries to put a bandaid on a gaping wound- it doesn't help, doesn't _work_ but the city is too far gone, dying and coughing out its last breath any day. Star fluxed and waned, its pulse racing as it ran far, far away from it its problems with a precious few left behind to help it. Money heals all wounds they wish - but the rubble of the Glades can't be fixed. All the problems catch up to it and it stumbles, one quick swipe shaking its crumbling foundations and destroy the city in a blaze. Central on the other hand never ran even though it was famous for its speedsters, waiting and hopping it's shining glory will save them. When it's snuffed out, the light gone the city is paralysed, waiting for its doom. History shows someone or something will stand up in darkness and become the next light destroying the city but this time?

  
Luck has just run out.

  
Frost goes on a rampage ( _Like I knew she would. She's too powerful and the darkness is calling - you can't ignore it._ ) killing 12 in the process - Vibe goes missing at the same time leading everyone to believe Frost (Killer Frost now) targeted him first. The media is too afraid and the city plunges into darkness as the flickering light of the makeshift hero and crocodile tears of the villain finally snuff out with no one to replace them. He’s too late to save the baby West’s, watching as Killer Frost slaughters the speedster (Where was this speedster when the city fell apart?) and the reporter next, heat and life draining out of them. Julian knows he's just witnessed something terrible as the storm clouds chase the city and whisper in his ear, souls of the dead mourning and screaming as they are helpless to stop the death of it.

  
_You failed us._  
_You couldn't help us._  
_You left us to die._  
_Everyone’s death is on you._  
_We had families._  
_This city was safe until you arrived._  
_You could do so much._  
_Help us._

  
Julian blocks it all out, heart pounding and ears screeching. He just wants the nightmare to be over, his eternal punishment to end. He doesn't want to see _his_ city die, and to see _his_ friend cause it. Julian watches everyone who ever set foot in those labs die, a cold and heartless death at the hands of a frozen scientist. He just _watches_ , too weak and scared to stop or help. This is all his fault, he started it when he helped Savitar kill the one thing keeping the city above the inky waves.

  
_It's not your fault. Just help them. Where those failed before you stand stronger and fight._

_  
Please Julian?_

  
Central’s destruction stops as soon as Alchemy turns up - everyone of the rouge Metas, including Killer Frost believe him to be on their side - After all, he did help _kill The Flash_. Alchemy though, doesn't seem interested in helping them - he takes no prisoners except one and locks her in abandoned pipeline under the abandoned labs where she starves and ghosts haunt the halls. These don't whisper hateful comments or pleas for help - No these just have one message for him - _Thank you_.

  
All fall silent after that one - All except one.

  
_It wasn't your fault - I don't blame you. You couldn't of know he was going to kill me that night._

_  
Don’t regret what you don't need to Julian. You proved yourself in the end._

_  
That is all that matters._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys want to see next time? A new one shot or a continuation of one of my older ones? A idea from one of you? I haven't started the next one so I'm open for suggestions either as comments or on my tumblr!


	7. Revenant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A Revenant is a visible ghost or animated corpse that is believed to have returned from the grave to terrorize the living.” Alchemy killed The Flash - So why is Julian being haunted by his fellow dead CSI?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years Everyone! As I type this it's 11:38pm in NZ and I have to apologize for not updating. This just got away with me - and I want to continue it. I will be updating less though for the next few weeks - Somehow I'm more busy on my holiday and suffering awful writers block at the same time. *sigh*
> 
> I'm also trying to beat Dishonored 2 in Low Chaos and I can't so I'm spending all my time doing that. And playing Pokemon Moon.
> 
> As always, not edited and written in my phone... :P

The first time it happened Julian chalked it down to sleep deprivation. He had spent the night babysitting newly created Metas and teaching them control - and the days before weren't much better. With the Flash gone he hadn't slept a wink in days, a feat only possible because of his Meta abilities and caffeine.

 

“I can't believe you moved my desk. Next to the  _ freezer  _ none else.”  _ Impossible. You’re going crazy. The owner of that voice is dead. Very, very dead. Heart ripped out of his chest dead. There is no way…  _

 

_ Oh dear god no. _

 

Legs dangling easily, eyes sparkling and as perfect as he had been in life, his  _ dead  _ colleague was perched on the edge of Julian's desk as if Julian hadn't killed him the week prior. 

 

He definitely hadn't got enough sleep this week.

 

The hallucination? raised his eyebrows, obviously spotting Julian's expression of utter shock.  _ I felt I was dealing with this situation well. Not everyday do you have a maybe vengeful ghost complain about how you reorganised your room… Now I'm really going insane. _

 

“You were dead last time I checked”

 

“Ehh.” Julian watches as the speedster waves his his wrist as it dissolves into controlled lighting with the movement, “That hasn't changed.”  _ Weird. Impossible. Just another day in Central.  _

 

“Why are you here Flash?” Eyes and lips twisting, the ghost has has the decency to  _ pout  _ at him, the man who killed him in cold blood even knowing his identity not even a week ago. Julian’s life  _ really  _ has been twisted in the last few years…

 

“Flash? Julian I thought we were  _ mates.  _ What happened to calling me Barry? Or at least Allen. You used to call me Allen when you hated me. After all we have been through I would of thought we were at least still there.” The pout is back as twisted as ever and Julian really didn't need a ghost running his day. Hell he would of been fine if no one talked to him for a week if it got him out of this mess.  _ Maybe even suffering all the detectives bugging him 24/7 for results if it got Allen to shut up. _

 

“Fine then,  _ Allen.  _ Are you here because I killed you 5 days ago in an abandoned warehouse on the other side of Central?

 

“ _ No _ I’m here because you changed the lab around -  _ Of course I'm here because you killed me” _

 

Flickering dangerously between something recognisably human and… Living lightning the room suddenly feels too musty and he could swear he could smell the ozone in the air. Allen seems to cool down -  _ Cool. Cold. The good Captain. I wonder where he has been in the last year? Hmm. Less competition for Savitar. I better redirect this conversation before something gets broken. Or killed. Can a ghost kill people? I got to test this.  _

 

“You’re a ghost right. Can you influence the outside world? Can anyone else see you? iknowimightofkilledyoubutineedtotestthisforscience”

 

Allen raises a eyebrow and somehow creates more of a judging expression as a ghost who Julian is not entirely sure he could've done alive.  _ I didn't speak too quickly did I? God that must of sounded like mush. _

 

“Did you get any of that Allen? I did say it rather -”

 

“Quickly? It's fine. I got every word. That's nowhere near  _ fast  _ speaking. Did you forget I'm a speedster somehow? Difficult with the whole being half lightning ghost…”  _ At least he hasn't lost his sarcasm - no way could he function without that.  _

 

The suspending chill was the only warning Julian got before the lab’s door blasts open and Detective Johnson strides in, hand stacked high with files. Allen shuts up and watches, barely reacting to Julian pitiful glances in his direction as Johnson rambles on about something to do with getting a figure printing sample from the cases at the scene - talking about paying attention... “Albert? Are you listening to me”

 

“Wha - Of course Detective. I'll get on that straight away after I finish the 3 other cases I had come in this morning.”

 

Johnson nods sadly, giving him a knowing look. “Sorry about that, but with only one CSI at the moment everything has to go through you. Apparently Singh is looking at getting a new CSI from Keystone - One of the old officers became a CSI and transferred - Singh wants her back.”

 

It was news to him, being a new transfer and all. He knew the lab had been functioning with one CSI for years, Allen being apparently perfectly capable with dealing with a precincts evidence. The only shift was when Allen was in his coma - two rookie CSI’s had taken the mantel, and Julian and heard rumours of how it was a dark period filled with mistakes and lateness.  _ For as late as Allen was usually he didn't stint at getting his job done on time. Impressive really since I don't think he turned up once on time. Ever. But is Johnson thinking I'm less that Allen? Unable to pull the same weight as him.  _

 

Heat threatening to show itself, Julian quickly tunes to add the file to his growing pile. Allen’s still sitting on the desk, eyes twinkling with something akin to amusement.  _ Don't laugh. I am very good at my job. Not like you, Mr Perpetually Late. And anyway, the dead shouldn't judge.  _

 

“Thank you Detective - I haven't heard that. Now if you would please excuse me I have plenty to work on and having you hovering there is not helping me finish these analyses of this sample.” The detective caught on, exiting as quickly as he entered, the cool air and slightly acidic taste leaving with him. Allen apparently hadn't caught his double meaning, and was now staring out the window overlooking Central, glancing towards STAR labs longingly.  _ Johnson didn't even react to his presence - am I the only one who can see him? Is he doomed to watch forever, unable to do something? That seems to be the worst possible torture for the hero of this city, watching it fall and being unable to help it. Or… Am I hallucinating? Is he real (A ghost) or is he in my head? I can't tell… _

 

“I'm guessing you caught on… You're the first person I've noted that can see me. I don't know - am I real? I have to be… I'm here right?” Golden-Green eyes turn to him, demanding answers that he doesn't have. Pity creeps up his arm under the speedsters glaze and Julian feels like he wants to  _ help. _

 

_ Bollocks. Now you have done it Julian. Falling for a dead speedster who only you can see and may or may not be real.  _

 

Allen’s shoulders slump, and somehow the simple action makes Julian's heart ache even  _ more.  _ “I'll jus… just watch. Ignore me. I'll probably fade out in a bit - that's how ghosts work right… Right? Sure. That will work.” Julian doesn't have time to reply before he's perched on the desk again, out of Julian's way and just in his peripheral vision, barely more than a golden blur. Not only that, Julian can't help but notice how the man seems to fade out as he works, before disappearing completely.

 

_ I was just dreaming. Good. _

 

* * *

 

“Really? A  _ Cappuccino?  _ I always thought you were a Americano guy personally.” Allen’s teasing voice echoed from behind Julian as he walked to the station, already late and grumpy even  _ before _ the ghost of his nemesis? turned up. Julian had put the incident before behind him, writing it off as a hallucination and nothing more. Alchemy’s stone was uncomfortably warm in his pocket as he turned to confirm that yes the ghost was back. Unlike before however when he was decked out in one of his ridiculous nerd outfits (Sweater, jeans and sneakers suitably in many versions of disrepair) this time he had changed (Did ghosts change when they wanted to? Or did it just happen?) into clothes more suited for the Central Autum - Coat open, thin t-shirt underneath protecting nothing as but a shocking change from the norm that Julian was left reeling for a few seconds, before realising he was in the middle of the morning rush hour and he controlled his emotions, heat creeping away in the burning sun.

 

“Allen. I thought you were gone.”  _ That's a lie. I thought you weren't here. But no hallucination if mine would complain about my coffee. Who does that? A bored ghost? _

 

“How… How long was I gone for you?”  _ Are you scared Allen? Or nervous? What happened? _

 

“You appeared as you are in the lab exactly a week ago - What happened Allen?”  _ What scared you so much? _

 

Allen drops his shoulders as he walks in pace with Julian, dodging people but Julian notices the way he clips through them (His shoulder disappears here and there - Every time it happens afterwards the person seems to subconsciously want to rub away the static electricity) which leads to one conclusion.  _ He's influencing the living world - somehow. As excess static electricity. Isn't that funny. Karma’s a bitch - but why would it be punishing Central’s Scarlet Speedster, the most selfless man in the city? He died for this city and now he's left haunting his killer, unable to do anything but snark and watch.  _

 

“After I faded… I… I was still there. Kinda. I didn't have a restrictive ‘form’... I was everywhere. It was amazing Julian - is that what you feel as Alchemy? Knowing everything that was going on in the world?” The brightness in his heels Julian is all too familiar with - It's the same spark that when Allen would gush over science, or metas. Seeing the familiar spark hurts - Julian can't help but wonder is this the last time he sees it? Is Allen not going to come back next time? 

 

“Is it because of the Speed Force?” Julian's familiar with it - Savitar has utter control over it and didn't stint in flaunting it to Alchemy, whether as a show of power or show of partnership he doesn't know - but Alchemy took at as a threat. Julian had always seen the force as something Savitar controlled to the utter degree with the other speedsters barely using any. 

 

Allen shrugs before turning away. “I have to go. Be seeing you Julian” Disappearing, all the trace that was left was the slight flicker of electricity where he had stood moments before, helping Julian cling to the final idea that he hadn't imagined it.

 

_ God damn it Allen. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? I'm partial to it - I love the concept but my execution could be better.
> 
> See you all later, and again Happy New Years Everyone!


	8. Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pilot!AU: “Let me get this straight, You go to Starling, behind Joe and Singh’s back none else to investigate an impossible case there only to meet the Arrow?!” Julian has really had enough of his boyfriend's life - Thankfully he's used to it by now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late - Writers block is a pain and when I did get this done I realized oh wait I should've done this prompt for Allenbert Week - so you'll get another chapter then. I'll be moving this into its own separate work in the series when I do so - along with the Fractured trilogy.
> 
> Song for this chapter - [Feel by Robbie Williams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk)

“Let me get this straight, You go to Starling, behind Joe and Singh’s back none else to investigate an impossible case there only to meet the  _ Arrow?! _ ” Julian cared about his boyfriend, he really did and he knows him, he knows he's not a liar but really? Barr’s luck has to be the worst he's ever seen.

 

His mood wasn't helped by the fact that his boyfriend and fellow CSI wouldn't be getting back in time to see Julian before the Particle Accelerator- it was Julian's night off but Barry was on call, and the sinking feeling in his stomach led into his fears that his boyfriend was going to miss the one thing he'd been excited about for  _ years  _ \- Julian would take his shift, the nice boyfriend he is but Singh was pissed about Barry’s trip to Starling. 

 

At least it wasn't like anyone cared about the fact that the two CSI’s were gay or the fact that they were in a relationship. Having a gay captain had squashed any chance of anyone ever speaking out against them - Singh would have there ass on meter duty before you could say ‘flash’. And anyway - the two worked so well that there was no need to complain (Until Barry goes an does something like  _ this. _ He really doesn't win any followers.) 

 

“Ummm…” Julian can actually  _ see  _ his boyfriend rub the back of his neck awkwardly - a tell tale sign of his uncomfortableness “Yeah? I did?” 

 

“Iris has been politely informing me for days about the Accelerator opening - don't be late to that at least. I would go with you lot but frankly…”

 

“Singh won't let you get off your shift early. I understand. Soo… What else happened while I was away?”

 

“Your foster father is very disappointed in you.”

 

“ _ Other  _ than Joe being annoyed - that I knew about. Iris informed me… Wait. Was Joe taking it out on you? He was wasn't he?” He loves how his boyfriend will fight his foster father over him but it is really not necessary… it's a nice touch though.

 

“It is fine Allen. Now get here in time for the particle accelerator opening otherwise you will have two scary West’s angry at you - you want to avoid that don't you?”

 

“I love you, you know? Of course you do… How about tomorrow we go to that Japanese restaurant around the corner? Your favourite one, just to make up for me being away so long.”

 

“Sure… We both have tomorrow night off I believe. Bear… You are fine right? You sound… Off.”

 

The line is too silent for too long - Julian’s just about to panic when he hears his boyfriend sigh unhappily “Yeah… All day I've been on a wicked coffee high Jul - I haven't even had any today. Otherwise I'm fine, and I'll be back tonight. Love you.” 

 

He cuts off before Julian can reply, and his heart sinks. Did something happen in Starling? He trusts Barry though to tell him if something's wrong and he has a pile of tests to go through before the end of his shift. He can't wait to curl up next to Barr tonight, have slim figures trace his scars from the army as they both are lured to sleep by each other's heart beats. 

 

He trusts his boyfriend with his life. Completely and fully. But hey, nothing could go wrong on a simple night in Central right?

 

* * *

 

The stirring of his gut just  _ won't stop _ and Julian can't help but text Barry as the hour of the accelerators opening draws near, worry eating at his soul. He's worried for Iris and Barry, he doesn't know why - it's a normal night in Central and they will be fine otherwise Joe would never let them out of the house and Julian respects Joe. He gets along well with him, the man respecting the CSI for his skills and commitment to his relationship with Barry and the feeling is mutual. Julian always appreciates a single parent who cares and looks after all his children, unlike his own who rejected their youngest when he fell in love with science.

 

After typing and deleting a  _ fourth  _ message to Barry, Julian's had enough. Singh takes pity on him, glancing at all his completed work and sending him home with a simple pat on the back - Maybe he feels sorry that Julian is picking up the punishment from his boyfriend's… questionable actions. All Julian wants from his night is to be curled up on his sofa, a glass of red in one hand and his boyfriend under the other but alas, that wasn't going to happen. All that was waiting for him at home was their little grey kitty Nora and a library of Netflix movies he hasn't seen yet. 

 

Cold metal brushing his finger alerts Julian to the fact that he's about to dial Barry  _ again _ (As if he wasn't so much of a clingy boyfriend before, he berates himself, usually Bear’s the one who wants to know what's going on even though  _ I'm  _ the one with military training and experience.) Maybe he's worried because he hasn't actually seen him in 5 days - Physical contact is a major thing for Julian, he just has to  _ touch  _ things to believe them. Screams of excitement and joy outside alert him to the time - halfway home and  _ finally  _ the particle accelerator is being turned on. Stalling the car, he gets out and casts his gaze towards STAR labs - If anything is going to go wrong it'll be obvious right? (He knows he's fooling himself, and the ice in his veins knows it to. Something's going to go wrong and he's worried about Barr.)

 

The vibrating phone in his pocket alerts him to the fact that he's received a text. Hands shaking, he unlocks his phone and reads the simple line, a smile creeping onto his face as he stands on the side of the road and laughs.

 

_ It’s amazing isn't it? Totally worth coming back for ;) _

 

(Doesn't help the worry in his veins. He’s opting to ignore it for now…)

 

Somehow, in a cruel twist of fate he doesn't see the explosion happen. He can just see the shockwaves ripple through the air, the plane fall out of the sky and the storm break overhead. It's a disaster is Central, one that will have ripple effects for all of time to come (and the past) but Julian’s only concerned about one thing.

 

_ Barry _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Are these two not the cutest worrywarts ever? But don't worry Julian, your boyfriend will be fine...
> 
> Maybe.


	9. Honor For All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian Albert is a dishonored Royal Protector with a dead Emperor and missing Empress on his hands - not to mention the fact that he's the Most Wanted Man in Central. Framed for the Emperor's murder, Julian and his new allies have two goals. 1. Find Iris. 2. Return her to her thrown and expose the real killer.
> 
> If only it was that simple...
> 
> ...aka the Allenbert Dishonored!AU that no-one asked for or wanted but I wrote anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: I am writing for Allenbert Week so next week there may not be an chapter :)
> 
> I'm sorry for this - I know most people wont like it. But My muse has been dead and with Allenbert Week coming up that's a problem... the only thing I _can_ write right now is Dishonored based since it's been my life these last few weeks. I've had the idea from the start but no way to execute it - Are Allenbert Jessamine and Corvo? It's the only canon ship... (But do I have an excuse to kill off either again? And the child part of the relationship?) But reading Corvosider (Whoops) inspired me to do this twist. I know I'm the first (And the only - Let's be real here, How many people actually wanted this?) to do this and I hope you guys enjoy it! 
> 
> This will be in at least 2 parts (Dishonored 1 is such a drag to write I can't believe how crap the story is and a mute protagonist? Ugh) and will take up the Hogwarts AU day in Allenbert Week as I really don't like Harry Potter or know anything about the series, at least I don't know enough to write a story for it and while trying to come up with one solution to this problem I considered a Magic AU first - But it's a show about _superheros_ , Powers and Magic are normal. So Dishonored is the next best thing.
> 
> In Dishonored you play as a supernaturally powered former Royal Protector turned assassin trying to clear his name after he was accused and framed for the murder of the Empress he tried protecting - who he was also in love with. Now the people who framed him are getting away with it and they have the Empress's daughter (Who is also the assassin's daughter) and are trying to use her to gain power. It's possible (I say possible - It's very difficult) to beat the game without killing anyone or you can kill everyone (Me) and the ending reflects this. Along the way he is gifted powers by The Outsider - a God? Demon? Leviathan... that finds him fascinating and gifts these powers to help him as the god gets a kick out of watching the ensuing chaos. 
> 
> He's also a whale btw. 
> 
> Song Inspiration: [Honor For All by Daniel and Jon Licht (End Theme Dishonored 1)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyTCtbYNzRg)

_ Oh well _

_ Honor for all of the big and the small _

_ Well the taller they stand, well the harder they fall _

_ We live for today but we die for the next _

_ With blood in our veins and the air in our chest _

_ So we step into war with our hearts on the line _

_ The dirt on our boots it shakes free over time _

 

The fading sunlight is what greets him as he returns to Central - along with the princess. Giggling chestnut curls and wise hazel eyes gaze up into ours as she affectionately pats her head - a habit picked up from her mother, the late Empress. As the Royal Protector he should not of left - he knows it to be true but the Emperor had sent him away with kind words, begging him to find a cure to the plague threatening their city, threatening their _ home _ . 

 

The spike of pain as he returned without a cure should be worse - But Julian knew from the start it was a lost cause. Emperor West too - But by the Void had they  _ hoped. _ Central was falling faster than they cared to admit but not even Star had seen the plague before, dashing out that hope. 

 

"Julian! You're back! Will you play hide and seek with me? Father is busy with the dull spymaster again - I don't know why he still deals with Thawne" Iris pout looks out of place on her squidy face, twisting it in unfamiliar ways but somehow still managing to melt Julian's heart, his weakness for the little princess evident as usual.

 

Reaching forward, he ruffles her ear as she leaps for a hug - While Francine was sick he spent many hours looks after Iris and grew quite attached, beyond the relationship his job required. "If Joe is busy, I guess I have time. Have you been practising?"

 

Childish squeals meet his ears as she follows him to the underbridge - Apparently he picked the right decision to agree, even if it is outside of his job. He half picks up the rambles that only a child could muster, Iris's excitement at playing hide and seek with the young Snart girl (It seemed the two had mustered quite a bond - He'd have to discuss it with  _ Len _ \- As much of a pain talking to the icy nobel was) 

 

They play for what seems forever, Julian losing himself to the game and Iris's childish joy. These days joy is rare in Central - why be joyful in a time when you destined to die with the year when the plague finally consumes them all, no help from the deity of the Void whatsoever. 

 

If being a Royal Protector had taught Julian anything, it was that you could not trust fate - The fates had written out a story, but that story was always been written out, replaced and _ changed  _ with every action of the chosen - In one life? Emperor Joseph West ll lived a long happy life, dying peacefully at an old age. His daughter, Empress Iris West, First of her Name would rule over the kingdom of Central peacefully, before passing the mantle to her children, them to their and so for. 

 

_ But that was only one life.  _

 

* * *

 

In every other life, Emperor Joseph West ll died in the royal gazebo, held by the Royal Protector who was out matched by supernaturally powered assassins, the protector being accused and the Empress disappearing into the night. 6 long months of pain, blood and torture follow as they try break the man. It was one of  _ his  _ least favorite outcomes, the one where the Royal Protector died at the hands of the  _ betrayers _ that this life seemed to be edging towards - and that wouldn’t  _ do.  _

 

Swift fingers work on the timeline, leaving only echoes of the old fate and a new one been written. The _ Dishonored _ in this life broke out and helped the  _ Loyal _ , reclaiming their prize and doing their dirty work before being stabbed in the back.

 

The  _ Loyal  _ weren't as loyal as he had hoped.

 

_ Fascinating. _

 

_ The music it fades _

_ The violin slows _

_ The darkness it rises _

_ As the sun goes _

 

He was barely 20 when the Empress had died - He hadn’t been Lord Protector for long, fresh from Keystone, The Sun on the Horizon when Francine had collapsed, coughing up blood.  _ Poison.  _ The rumors spread,  _  The Empress was poisoned by a staff member.  _ He remembered rushing, scrambling and catching her body as she fell (Years of sword and reflex training served him well in this moment - But how could he fight something beyond his understanding?

 

In the Month Of Rain, only 2 moons after Iris the White was born, Empress Francine West ll died of an unknown illness in the comforts of Central Tower. A day of mourning was held, and suddenly Joe was thrust into power alone. Central’s royal system was more favorable to women of blood - but everyone agreed a 2 moon old should not be in power. Julian’s first critics appeared at the time - Of course an Empress dying of mysterious courses barely 3 years after she was placed into the first  _ outsider  _ \- a Royal Protector born and raised outside of Central, beating out all other contenders on pure skills and the Duke’s favor alone. 

 

11 years later, Julian finds himself losing the second Royal under his watch.

 

* * *

 

Thawne was more smug than usual as Julian passed him, tethering on the edge of the marble gazebo carefully. The Spymaster had glared at him, his usual behavior clear as they knocked swords on Thawne’s way past (Julian should've know. The man hated him but never had any reason to be _smug._ _On how foolish he was._ ) 

 

Joe was suitably disappointed with the results of his search (They knew it was an impossible quest, but god had they  _ hoped.  _ They needed to save Central, no matter what.) but the man was thankful. He saw Julian as his brother after all they had been through, from Francine's death to the war against heretics (If Joe could see him now… Would he care? Would he care that he was branded, a heretic, witch,  _ outsider? _ ) and he wouldn't take his anger out on the messenger. Of course when the winds went silent and the men disappeared Joe was the first to notice (Julian didn't know why he didn't notice at the time - One of the assassins powers perhaps?) and his worry had spurred Julian’s actions. Sword and pistol out, adrenaline and worry creeping through his veins, Julian had protected Joe and Iris (Who had ran up in the confusion -  _ Just as they wanted _ ) with everything he had but what could a mere mortal do against the gifted? They had Blinked around him, taunting and dancing their way closer as they dodged pistol blasts and sword swings before their leader (In one world his scars marred his face - in this they were concealed under his shirt and skin, soul damaged beyond repair)

 

Time seems to slow (It’s an illusion at best - He doesn't have Bend Time yet) as he’s frozen in the light and Joe collapses, sword piercing his vertebrae as the assassins disappear and Julian scrambles towards the body ( _ Joe. It’s still Joe. He’s still alive.)  _ Maroon stains the ground around him, a stark contrast to the white brick but somehow, against all odds Joe’s still  _ alive.  _ Weak hands move to grasp at Julian’s coat, coming away red. 

 

“Please… Look after Iris. She… You’re the only one she has left…” He stares into Joe eyes as the man fades, soul escaping the hell hole called life. He knows he should be logical - everything went to hell and people have  _ powers  _ \- But he only cares about the body in front of him. His body conveys his answer in the way his mouth fails him, nodding as Joe smiles his way into sleep. Thawne comes back at some point, guards in tow and Julian has a split second to understand that they think  _ he _ did this before he loses consciousness and slips into a slumber.

 

* * *

 

The next 6 months are torture - figuratively and literally. Iron Heights isn’t kind to the cruel and unkind, daily torture snuffing out his light one whip at a time. Julian still clings to the fact that Iris is out there in the grasp of the people who killed her mother - scared and alone. Thawne has fun with the torture, releasing on interrogating the man for a confession that just can't quite get past his lips.  _ I’m innocent.  _ He’d mutter, spirit as strong as the day he left Keystone.  _ You won't get a confession from an innocent man, certainly not from me. _ Julian knew it was a lost cause - he was to be executed in two days time, the torture slowing as the guards let his mangled body rest so it can be prepared for the  _ spectacle  _ \- everyone in the Isles will be watching him die. 

 

_ Of all the possible outcomes, the shadow seem to say,This seems to happen the most.  _

 

The key is a gift - along with the note, letting the broken spirit inside Julian shine. He’s skillful in disposing of the guards, careful to make sure there are only unconscious as he slips out, 6 months of pain doing nothing to stop years of training and muscle memory that make his the best swordsman in Keystone - And Dunwall it seems. A shadow slips through the prison, dispatching the pockets of guards with such ease that Julian wishes someone was watching and could appreciate this. The bomb goes of without a hitch, careful planning and Julian’s quick feet barely saving a guard who had been knocked out slightly too close to the explosion. And for the first time in half a year, Julian Albert is free (Just the most wanted man in the Isles. Oh if Joe could see him now.)

 

* * *

 

Contrary to popular belief, Julian hadn't ever set foot in the sewers. The plague was too centered down there, rats and bodies meaning that it was a death trap. He had thought it was getting better - but when as he snuck silently overhead, crouched precariously on metal caging, two city guards had been mauled to death by rats Julian realized it was going to be harder than it looked. Luckily, by some grim fate one of the decaying bodies was carrying a vial of Ramon’s Elixir -  _ Hopefully  _ it would prevent him from dying to the plague. Today at least. 

 

Drop Assassinations be damned - Julian was never, ever going swimming in Central sewers  _ ever  _ again. He was trying his damned hardest to not kill any of the guards, as easy as it would be. Either his skills were better than he remembered or the guards were deaf, by some grim luck he managed to get past unnoticed. 

 

The rat’s are harder, but distracting them with a plague-ridden body (Ewww - he  _ really _ hopes the elixir will work) lets him quickly escape their grasps. The open-air sewer he finally finds himself in is disgusting, smelly but  _ beautiful  _ \- the sickly vines and grass mae Julian’s heart leap after 6 moons of grey, bleak concrete. There’s a man waiting ahead, boat behind purring softly as Julian creeps closer. He’s young, golden hair dirty and wet in a way only a river traveler’s were. He curse softly as Julian sneaks up, eyes wide with shock. 

 

“I know they said you would be coming out here but I didn't really believe it…” He seems to drift off, and Julian finds himself amused more than anything. His age shows in his words but he’s definitely a Keystonian - His accent matches Julian’s to a fault leaving his heart sore with memories from his past. The boatman holds out his hand, calloused from heavy work and he smiles softly as Julian returns the handshake firmly (Francine always saw the advantage in a strong introduction.)

  
“I’m Eddie… My friends can explain everything back at the Star Pit Pubs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok... What did you think? I'm still doing this for Allenbert Week but I kinda want to know if I persuaded anyone to kinda liking this monster...
> 
> Characters:  
> Julian Albert - Corvo Attano  
> Joe West - Jessamine Kaldwin (I excluded the thing between Jessamine and Corvo.. eww)  
> Iris West - Emily Kaldwin (Again, she's not Julian's kid. Or is she ;) I'M JOKING by the Void I wouldn't do that)  
> Barry Allen - The Outsider  
> Eddie Thawne - Samuel Beechworth  
> Eobard Thawne - Hiram Burrows  
> Harrision Wells - Farley Havelock  
> Hunter Zolomon - Treavor Pendleton  
> Cisco Ramon - Anton Sokolov  
> Hartly Rathaway - Piero Joplin  
> Oliver Queen - Daud (The Daud who regrets what he has done. The kinda nice dad one)


	10. Come And Hold My Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allenbert Week Day 1: Pre-Flashpoint Relationship
> 
> Continuation of my Pilot!AU - After the accelerator explosion Central City is left to pick up the pieces, minus some of their loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Allenbert Week Day 1! I'm... not prepared btw. Hopefully I'll get ever day out... But please enjoy this chapter. It was cute to write but kinda tedious... also the relationship between Joe and Julian in this AU is honestly my favorite thing to write - Both seem to be the same generation and on the same wave length - protect Barry.
> 
> Also yes Iris is an evil blackmailer who knows exactly how to get her father to do what she wants but isn't that canon?
> 
> Song and lyrics for this chapter - [Feel by Robbie Williams](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk)

_ Come and hold my hand _

_ I wanna contact the living _

_ Not sure I understand _

_ This role I've been given _

_ I sit and talk to God _

_ And he just laughs at my plans _

_ My head speaks a language _

_ I don't understand _

 

_ Barr. Where are you? I don’t understand, why arent you replying? I need to hear you. Please. Where are you? _

 

Frost licked at his heart and soles as Julian scrambled to get to the station. He  _ had _ to see his boyfriend - he had to know he was ok. But, as humanity decreed, thousands of loved ones in Central that night had the same idea as him - They needed to make sure their lovers, parents, siblings and family were safe. The roads clogged, slowing down to match the steady pace of Barry’s voicemail - a torturous experience that left Julian half mad by the time he got to the station.  _ What if I lost my rock? I already lost Emma - I can’t lose Barry as well. It’s just my luck though.  _

 

By the time Julian finds Joe in the swarm of cops his vision blurs against his will and his knees tremble. Somehow in the short period of time since the explosion Joe’s aged 20 years. Shadows twist around him, shoulders slumped and Julian is struck about how  _ much _ he looks like a parent who just lost their child, something Julian is all too familiar with (He remembers once having to tell a mother they found her son in the river - The way the slim, tiny,  _ strong _ spark of hope disappears as quickly as her world shifted. He’d seen people lose loved ones before - his own parents and family themselves - but there he was, watching a woman lose  _ everything. _ She lost everything and held herself together long enough to see them to the door before following her son into the void. Julian swore then to  _ never _ forget her.)

 

He knows he’s watching Joe fall down that same path, following his son down and Julian just  _ knows. _ Suddenly it doesn't matter where he is, who's watching with their dark glares and whispering comments.

 

He just  _ breaks. _

 

_ I just wanna feel _

_ Real love feel the home that I live in _

_ 'Cause I got too much life _

_ Running through my veins _

_ Going to waste _

_ I don't wanna die _

_ But I ain't keen on living either _

_ Before I fall in love _

_ I'm preparing to leave her _

 

It’s Iris who drags him to the hospital, his body on autopilot. Of course it’s Iris - sweet perfect Iris who Julian had to fight claw and tooth with (without her knowledge) to win Barry’s affections - He’s not bitter ( _ I’m only a little bitter. Ok I’m bitter. Better? _ ) but seeing how she is still as perfect as ever even with her makeup smudged from tears and eyes scarlet. All he can focus on his Barry’s heartbeat, teh too-fast pattern of beeps in the stark room that makes his stomach turn and in turn his heart to race faster. It’s no where near Barry-speed, but it's the thought that counts. 

 

No-one ever mentioned what it would feel like to lose the love of your life - He knows he should be angry, angry at STAR Labs for building the Accelerator, angry at Harrison Wells for ever dreaming up it or angry at the world for taking his light like it too the mother’s son - But he’s just  _ tired. _ Already he wants to hear Barry’s voice, to see his smile or listen to another stream of god-awful jokes that he’s heard a hundred times before but Barry still tries to make him laugh at and succeeds every time. He wants his boyfriend back - or he wants to know he’s at peace, not stuck in the half-limbo-half-sleep that’s a coma. 

 

Joe joins him at the 3 hour mark, long after they have taken Barry away for another set of tests. He just wants it to be over already, already weary to the bone and its only the first day. He wants to be home in bed with his boyfriend, a tangle of limbs and sheets but  _ happy.  _

 

No-one mentions that he’s sitting by a empty bed, still grasping at thin air and dreaming for the impossible.

 

They don’t want to pledge the hesitant over the edge after all. 

 

_ Scare myself to death _

_ That's why I keep on running _

_ Before I've arrived _

_ I can see myself coming _

 

Singh takes one look at him and puts him on mandatory leave. Noone’s complaining - Julian looks like he would be at home on the Walking Dead with no problem - and that's coming from a group of men (and women) who live off cheap coffee and snack while they spend their days cleaning up a city wrecked by a impossible explosion and more impossible people. Julian would say he was interested, he knows he would of  _ before _ and Barry would of died (he did practically - but whatever god is out there hasn't held their end of the bargain.  _ Yet. _ ) to see how Central has evolved over time, the impossible  _ becoming _ possible and Barry’s half-mad rambles seeming more and more plausible each day. 

 

Julian doesn't want to go home, doesn't want to think about the missing body next to his and the nights spent in front of the TV, watching everything from documentaries to reality TV trying to get Julian to crack - Barry never succeeded ( _ And he may never do so,  _ a traitorous part of him whispers _ , He may do nothing ever again. _ )

 

It’s funny, watching the same things now seem to always get him to crack. He’d be fooling himself if he lied about why, the only light in his life a muted one when Joe and Iris invite him over for dinner.  _ We don’t want you to feel excluded Julian  _ (Iris never called him Julian before - It was always Albert or Desmond or some pun or joke about the two.  _ Never  _ Julian.)  _ You lost as much as both of us that day.  _ (He ignores how the West’s exchange looks at this - Like they know that they all lost an important person to them but that he lost the  _ only _ important person to him, heart slashed in to and crumbling every second Barr’s asleep, every time he sees  _ anything  _ that reminds him of Barry.)

 

_ I just wanna feel _

_ Real love feel the home that I live in _

_ 'Cause I got too much life _

_ Running through my veins _

_ Going to waste _

_ And I need to feel _

_ Real love and the love ever after _

_ I cannot get enough _

 

Harrison Wells comes to them 2 months in, and leaves with Joe’s permission and a bruised lip. Julian comes away with a bloodied fist and glimer of hope in his heart that died months ago. It doesn't matter about how much he tries to help Barry. Everything he doesn't rubs Julian the wrong way -  _ Something _ is wrong with the man and Julian does not want to be there when that's exposed. Speaking of the devil…

 

“Mr Albert. I wasn’t aware of you and Mr Allen's…  _ relationship.  _ Isn’t there a policy against it at the CCPD? You both seem to be such talented scientists… Shame if either of you lost your job over a simple romance.” 

 

“Do you dig into every relationship of your patients? Ones who are suffering because of your own mistakes? Or are you threatening me Mr Wells?”

 

Wells chuckles and Julian would swear later that his eyes flashed with something darker. Or in this case, something more  _ red. _ He was an army kid - and he’d grown up shunned by his family, spent years in the shadows where the monsters live. Julian didn't scare easy but this? This innocent  _ man _ who is handicapped in a wheelchair made every instinct in him scream. 

 

“Of course not Mr Albert, Just the ones who are breaking every rule in the rulebook for them. Neither of us would want Allen to lose his job over it would we? You do care about him.”

 

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing - You are cold hearted and selfish, thinking it's appropriate to threaten my own relationship when you have not had one in 15 years. You’re our only hope to save Barry, yes I understand that but I will not stand for being insulted constantly.”

 

The doctor just smiles his sly snake smile and wheels past Julian, surprisingly strong arms working tirely as he disappears around the corner.

 

_ I just wanna feel _

_ Real love feel the home that I live in _

_ I got too much love _

_ Running through my veins _

_ To go to waste _

_ I just wanna feel _

_ Real love and the love ever after _

_ There's a hole in my soul _

_ You can see it in my face _

_ It's a real big place _

 

“I don’t trust his Joe - The Meta’s obviously originated at the particle accelerator and now we’ve left Barr there hoping they’ll do something to help him. Wells… Well I don't trust him.”

 

“I know… I looked into his other staff - One Cisco Ramon and Caitlin Snow. Ramon’s clean and all reports say he’s a genius with a heart. Snow lost her fiance in the explosion - I don’t know why she’s still there and loyal to Wells but she is, and I have to give her credit for it.”

 

“So Wells only has 2 people left? Isn’t that a little... “

 

“Strange? It is a abandoned biohazard created by a impossible explosion. I wouldn't want to hang around after my life was ruined by it too. It works to our advantage too - Less people to worry about when everything inevitably goes wrong.”

 

“Hmmm. I just don’t feel like it's a good idea to leave Barr there - I know it's our only hope but something's not right.”

 

“Julian… We all want him back. Iris is… she’s dating Detective Thawne now. I don't approve but I always wanted her to end up with Barr…”

 

“And then he went out and started dating me. A coworker who’s male, none else. Iris is coping in her own way - she’s lost the one person she can confide in, of course she’ll find someone else to help her. Thawne… he’s not a bad guy. A bit upbeat and pretty yes, bad guy no.”

 

“He’s also modest.”

 

“I knew I forgot something - But really, please try be nicer to Thawne? He’s good for Iris and is a decent cop Joe. He also bought you coffee that one time without ulterior motives-”

 

“He was trying to get on my nice side.”

 

“-  _ Unlike _ Iris, who uses it as blackmail. How did she even learn to do that anyway?”

 

“... I’ll go look into STAR Labs.”

 

_ Come and hold my hand _

_ I wanna contact the living _

_ Not sure I understand _

_ This role I've been given _

_ Not sure I understand _

_ Not sure I understand _

_ Not sure I understand _

_ Not sure I understand _


	11. Of The Big And The Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of my Dishonored!AU taking up my Hogwarts!AU day of Allenbert week as I have no idea about Harry Potter - Julian meets the Loyalists and has a strange visit from a god of lightning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Allenbert Week.... I'm not ready. This is awful. And I don't know anything about Harry Potter so you get another magic AU :)

_ Love is a distant aroma at best _

_ A withering smile that's stuck deep in your vest _

_ At night air it wraps its fingers around _

_ Your body it shakes from the now distant sound _

_ Of the sound of her voice _

_ A sweet symphony _

_ Played over and over Until' you are free _

 

Julian has to say - Eddie’s a brilliant boatsman. The boat graceful cuts through the murky (dirty) waves as they head downstream admit the ruined city. It makes Julian’s heart ache - he wasn't born nor raised in Central but it’s been his home since he was gifted by the old Duke to Joe’s father (He doesn't understand exactly  _ why _ even to this day - Why would you gift the best swordsman in the Isles to another ruler? The Duke  _ knew _ he would be felled the second he did so, Julian saving his life dozen so before he was traded.) 

 

As the Star Pit Pub looms into view, crumbling tower and quarantine walls catch his eye first - how did Eddie put it?  _ “We are right under the Lord Regent's nose and he doesn't know it”.  _ No one would think to look for them here, or at least Julian hopes so. He is the most wanted man in the Isles after all, and if his suspicions are correct Thawne has something to do with that. With Joe dead and Iris missing it was the perfect opportunity for Thawne to move into the highest seat of power - and who would dare defy a former Spymaster? (The only thing more scary would be a former Blade Verona winner with a grudge and blood on his hands. Oh the irony)

 

Eddie, thankful doesn’t expect him to contribute to the conversation. He’s surprisingly educated, seemingly knowing everything going on around them in the water (Julian  _ trusts _ him. He thought after being betrayed would finally beat that annoying habit out of him, but apparently no. He really hopes he can trust these ‘Loyalists.’) 

 

Gliding to a halt, Eddie guides Julian towards the pub entrance before turning back towards his boat ( _ Baby.  _ Eddie’s  _ very _ attached to it) and leaving with a few final words. “Wells and Zolomon are inside. They’ll want to see you before you go visit Hartley in his workshop.” He seemed… Jumpy, and quickly makes his way back to the water's edge leaving Julian in the cold, barren courtyard with only instructions to see their ‘leader’ (It's been 15 years - Julian hasn't taken orders from anyone lower than royalty in that time and he isn't starting now.)

 

Julian has never visited the Star Pits Pub before - It’s not the kind of place an Emperor would spend his time so he was never there for work nor is it a place that a Lord (Royal Protectors are very highly classed in society, no matter is they are from  _ Keystone _ ) would spend his free time. He’d heard rumors of the types there - Baron and Baroness recently out of the Golden Cat and looking for a place to stay and bar brawls every second night. He doesn’t, however expect to see a Grand Guard  _ Admiral _ and a  _ Nobel _ drinking at the bar, room empty except for their hushed tones. Seeing Julian enter the room they hush, matching fierce eyes watching with hunger and greed as he makes his way across the abandoned bar towards them. 

 

“Lord Albert? I’m Admiral Wells, the leader of our little band of Loyalists. It is…  _ good _ to see you are okay. Well as okay as a man tortured in Iron Heights for 6 months could be.”

 

His partner, a tall bulky man who rings all kinds of warning bells in Julian’s head smiles, showing  _ slightly  _ too many teeth that would cause any lesser man to flinch. But Julian was born and raised in Keystone - Gangs and Overseers rule the streets and Julian learnt from a young age to deal with threats of the human kind. 

 

“Lord Hunter Zolomon. I represent the nobility in our group. Have you visited Rathaway yet?” Zolomon sounds… bitter. Apparently he thinks Rathaway below him, dishonored family and all even though they all lost their titles the moment they turned their back on the Lord Regent. Julian doesn’t trust these too - But they're his only hope. He doesn’t bow or shake their hands, simply nodding how he remembers Iris doing to her staff and turns to leave (And hid his smirk at Well’s and Zolomon’s expressions -  _ priceless _ .)

 

Hartley Rathaway, in all accounts, was a genius. What the accounts didn't tell him was that Hartley Rathaway was a giant douche. He didn’t look up as Julian entered, did not say anything except when he asked Julian to grab another canister of whale oil. Of course, Julian grabs him the canister from upstairs (He’s not a villain - he knows he has to get on the genius’ good side as he’s making all Julian’s weapons. Now  _ that’s _ something he knows can’t be flawed by a angry creator) and Rathaway  _ finally _ finishes his mask, a horrible mess of steel and fabric that reminds him of a skull. Along with his new sword, a weird Central backsword that folds into it’s own hilt. The kind teacher with cold hands and heart, Caitlin, guides him to a room in the attic far away from everyone else and twice as cold. 

 

“I’m sorry about the room Lord Albert - Wells and Zolomon guessed you wanted your own room”  _ And they don’t want you anywhere near them.  _ She doesn't say it, but it's heavily implied in her words. 

 

Caitlin leaves before he can ask about the cold band around her finger and the ice over her mood and for the first time in 6 months Julian sleeps freely.

 

_ The music it fades _

_ The violin slows _

_ Darkness it rises _

_ As the sun goes _

 

It’s colder than usual as he wakes - and it’s too bright in his dingy attic. Both were clues to where he was - if the floating whales and rock formations weren’t a blinding answer.

 

He had always imagined the Void as a endless darkness, crushing all who dare enter without the thing's approval - His mother had been a devoted Abby member after all, the Seven Structures were etched into his heart alongside her betrayal - but seeing it as it was, lightning and pure energy flying around, he couldn't help but feel like the Abbey was wrong. They had always taught the people to fear the Void ( _ Force _ He'd be informed later, the master of the force grumbled at one of their... meetings.  _ Mortals call this the Void... it was, at one time, but not in my time. It's a force beyond your limited perception - Not a endless void. _ )

 

“Hello Julian”

 

Of course - if the Void exists, then he must as well. The Overseers would kill for this knowledge (Everyone in the Isles knows the Seven Structures - they don't have a name for the god, just  _ him  _ \- Julian’s mother was a devote, reciting the Structures morning and eve,  Julian and Emma obeying their mother's will and doing the same. He could not forget them if he tried, although somehow facing the very being the Structures were created to oppose they seem to slip from his mind in a way 6 months in Iron Heights could not)

 

He’d speak up but he doesn't really know  _ what _ to call him. Somehow  _ he  _ understands, if his amused chuckle is anything to go by. 

 

“If you need to give me a name, The Flash will do. But let’s talk about  _ you. _ Youngest Blade Verona winner in history - and the first Keystonian Lord Protector to boot. So very  _ fascinating _ . Because of which, and your impending impact on the future to come I’ve decided to mark you”

 

He has a second to ponder the Flash’s words  _ Mark?  _ Before his hand is on  _ fire. _ (It isn’t. But the red-hot fire pokers Eobard had him tortured him with hurt less.) When the flames recede black lines dance up his hand like lightning, stopping just below his elbow. On closer inspection it wraps around his arm, never passing onto his fingers however. He’s heard of it before - a heretic's mark, but he has never had the opportunity to see one up close.

 

“I’m  _ fascinating _ ?” Julian echoes the Flash’s previous statement - pinching his words and easily dropping from his usual keystonian drawl to match the Flash’s easy Central accent (Defaulting to sarcasm when he’s unsure - how Emma would feel about this)

 

“Of all who came before, and all who will come after you have to be the most fascinating. A mere mortal I can’t see the future of? Fascinating. And, of course, who would want someone with such a pretty face like yours to die?” Julian catches the singular golden eye  _ wink _ at him before disappearing in yellow sparks like the abyss around him.

  
Did The Flash just  _ flirt  _ with him?


	12. Truth Or A Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allenbert Week Day 3: Jealousy/Protectiveness 
> 
> Is a truth or a lie better? What about when it comes to being a jealous partner who has no reason to be jealous? What's better then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late im sorry dishonored called and i cant say no

It started, as all jealousy does, as Julian noticing how  _ close _ Barry and Iris are. He knows Barry and Iris are siblings (Adopted counts in Julian's book - He’s seen loyalty before, and he appreciates the gesture of families not being related by blood) and that Barry  _ used to _ have a crush on Iris. That’s ok - but some traitorous part of him when seeing the two stand next to each other at the annual Flash / Arrow Team Christmas Gathering  _ way _ too closely for siblings, starts to doubt what he and Barry have going on. They have no titles - hard too when one is a brainwashed-supervillain-in-recovery and one is a superhero who is supposed to be hunting the other and they work together. In both their jobs (Does superheroing/villianing count as a job? Barry certainly thinks so, much to Julian's announced. He would like to spend time with his… partner thank you very much). 

 

God it’s Daniel all over again - Julian was the jealous partner in  _ that _ relationship too - and look where that got him. Dumped because he thought his boyfriend was cheating on him. He doesn’t want a repeat of last time but it’s really, really difficult to not see it. The slightly too long glances on each side and the  _ body contact _ . Arms rubbing as they sip something bronze (Julian isn’t sure who’s on the hard stuff - Iris is known to be practically impossible to get drunk and it  _ is  _ impossible to get Barry drunk - and a few too glances. The tension is figuratively  _ pouring _ off them and Julian can't watch. 

 

Barry always knows when someone's upset - Cisco’s questioned it at a meta ability (“ _ Meta’s can’t have multiple abilities Cisco” “We don’t know that. It is kinda uncanny though you have to admit. Catlin? What do you think? Caitlin?” “She’s busy Cisco. No time for us between Ronnie and the job” “I’m insulted.” _ ) and somehow he must pick up on Julian’s…  _ moping _ and swiftly (As swift as a superfast klutz can. Everyone here is aware of what everyone else does in their ‘free time’ - Julian is sure Oliver (He knows the  _ Green Arrow  _ personally - what is his life) is armed with a range weapon or 10 and that the White Canary is definitely not sharpening her nails while flirting with Kara.  _ Definitely  _ not.) makes his way over to Julian, affectionately rubbing against him like a cat while doing so. 

 

It doesn’t improve his mood. Of course Barry notices. Suddenly those big green/gold eyes are on him, and god they are so confused. He’s supposed to be enjoying himself - not being jealous of Iris. Doesn’t help though - He can’t ignore the fact that her attention is still on Barry, no matter how hard Thea tries to pry it away. At this rate  _ everyone _ will know of his pathetic jealousy by the end of the night - something he really wants to avoid. It’s Barry or everyone - and Barry  _ always  _ comes first.

 

“Hey  _ mate _ ” Taunting, mocking, friendly, lovely - all feelings his tone could be interpreted as. Exciting.

 

“What’s wrong Julian? Have you meet everyone yet? Did someone say something about you being a former villain? I mean Sara brought Snart who we can all safely say did more that Alchemy - Who said it?”  _ Always running at a million kilometers and hour Barr - Slow down. _

 

“No-one said anything - But are you saying you would so beat up someone for me? I’m touched” 

 

“ _ Don’t _ pull that game with me Jul - What’s wrong? I've never seen you so upset.” It’s a lie and they both know it - but he's never been this upset while in the company of friends (and allies. And a whole bunch of very, very dangerous people armed to the teeth.) 

 

_ Truth or a lie? _

 

_ If I tell the truth he’ll be embarrassed - flustered. He’ll think of me differently… It’s a stupid fear. _

 

_ If I tell a lie he’ll be annoyed, but understanding. I can put on a brave face for the rest of the evening and Barr will forget this all in the morning as he’ll be half starved… It’s a stupid idea. _

  
_ Truth or a lie Barr? What will you accept better? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehh - this is kinda awful

**Author's Note:**

> I'll update this whenever I have time... Feedback is appreciated, along with any prompts!
> 
> Update: I'll be updating every Wednesday (In NZ) at least - Maybe even more if I can.
> 
> I have [tumblr](https://that-one-mawile.tumblr.com) apparently.


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